if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
