He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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