Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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