we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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