therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I've blown a few things in my day
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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