He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
