Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize