Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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