where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
