I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
This girl is more easily done than said...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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