Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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