I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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