is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
