I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
