She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
