I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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