If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize