I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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