i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
