so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
