she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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