So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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