Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
