just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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