Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize