there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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