that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
