And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
NoShamevember. You game?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
