I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
