Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
