She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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