Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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