garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
