What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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