A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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