white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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