so that wasnt chicken after all
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
