I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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