Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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