i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
