loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
