yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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