Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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