Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
