We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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