I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
