I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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