just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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