do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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