I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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