My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
