the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
