can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You're like the curious george of whores
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize