I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
