i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
