she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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