That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
