Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Im part way to drunk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
