Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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