i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
