are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Girls should come with a carfax report
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize