she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
